The Mobyjoe Cafe News Roundup – The week of 3/1

Obama care goes to debate
Nine justices decide its fate
The next dispute they’ll lay to rest?
The color of that effing dress


Google may rank hits by veracity
Their algorithms show perspicacity
Some sites may have to think anew
I wonder what Fox News will do?


Netanyahu meant no offense
But offers up his recompense
If it keeps him in the club
He’ll take Joe Biden’s shoulder rub


Hillary has secrets galore
And now her email hides much more
Will this gaffe be her downfall?
At least she doesn’t “reply all”


Congress funds the DHS
But does so under great duress
The only place where they concur
Is how much their next raise is for


K-Cups’ inventor shows regret
For spawning a pollution threat
But not as much as he laments
Forgoing payment by percent


Climate change is one big hoax
Says the anti-science folks
Whatever the cause may be
This ******* winter’s agony


In 2018, the circus grants
Amnesty to elephants
But Ringling’s not forgiven yet
For elephants never forget


Tsarnaev’s trial has commenced
One hopes that justice is dispensed
The marathon continues on
Because the city is Boston Strong


He says he’s investing in outdoor bathtubs

My son is trying to make sense of politics given the upcoming election. I give him props. He can’t even vote and he’s doing more than most to understand the issues. My son is generally more conservative than I am. Most everyone that doesn’t live in Massachusetts or California is more conservative than I am.

I like that he doesn’t mistake my opinion for fact. He asks good questions and he actually listens to my answers. He has his own opinions as well, and I respect that. That is how democracy is supposed to work. That is how discussion is supposed to work.

He is confounded, however, by one issue in particular–the reluctance of Republicans to invest in alternative energy. Even if you don’t believe in global warming as a threat, he reasons, isn’t energy independence from nations hostile to the U.S. a smart strategy? If we can meet our own needs, we gain negotiating power, right?  My husband and I explain that many people feel these problems are best solved by private enterprise, and not the government. If there is enough need and money to be made, theoretically, the market will respond.

So we end up having a discussion about the risky nature of R&D. How you can invest large amounts of time and money into an idea and have it not work. How the more complex the issue the longer the process, and the more expensive to implement as a business, the less likely private enterprise will do it. There has to be a driving consumer need, and as long as gas is affordable, people aren’t willing to pay more for alternative technologies. People may say they want energy independence, but they want cheap gas more.

He thinks this over.

So companies want a sure bet–one with a big market.


And alternative energy isn’t a sure bet.

Not by a long shot. That’s why we can get Viagra but not a geothermal heating system.

He takes this in, and says, “Let me get this right. We can’t solve an energy crisis, but I can get a four hour boner.”

After I recover from hearing my son use the term “boner” at the dinner table, I tell him. Yes. Exactly. There is a moment of awkward silence while he contemplates his next question.

“How do they fill those outdoor bathtubs anyway?”

He can ponder that question on his own.

Words by J. B. Everett

Photograph by Jason Tabarius © 2011 Creative Commons