GOP Debate in Haiku

By popular demand…..

GOP Debate

Ten dudes, one chick, one handler

And one big ass plane

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With them all lined up

Looks like a beauty pageant

Trump owns this one too

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Carly’s not alone

Don thinks Rand is ugly too

Chris Christie you’re next

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To deal with Russia

Trump goes golfing with Putin

And shows his big balls

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We have a winner

Planned parenthood and Iran

Best non sequitur

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When the Donald speaks

He tells us what “we all know”

Even if we don’t

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I don’t remember

The Reagan years like they do

Which of us was high

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Marco Rubio

Sounds like a movie trailer

For disaster porn

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I wonder if Jeb

Swaps tales with Eli Manning

Little bro syndrome

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Senator Graham’s troops

Look bigger cause they’re metric

Need conversion chart

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Jeb says he smoked pot

And now I like him better

I feel so dirty

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“We all look alike”

Fiorina shakes her head

Not from the waist down

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Let’s save our children

From Islamic terrorists

Ban science projects

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Donald Trump believes

His code name would be “Humble”

My bet? “Combover”

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Sex drugs rock n roll

GOP, just outlaw fun

And make it simple

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I’m three hours in

So our “official language”

Is all adjectives?

________________________

Is it my tv?

The Donald’s face is redder

Than Huckabee’s tie

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Trump has more haiku

Than the other candidates

Just like his air time

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All the candidates

Compare themselves to Reagan

The big ass plane wins

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Live Tweeting the Debate

Watching the debate?

I’ll be live-tweeting my thoughts

But in haiku form

———————————-

The fun starts at eight

I’m skipping the kid’s table

Unless I’m real bored

———————————–

I’m also playing

The Rolling Stone drinking game

To up the ante

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If it gets dull we’ll

Discuss Donald’s combover

Live or Memorex?

______________________

Join me on Twitter

(I’m @jnbeverett)

For some wonk-haiku