I wrote these haiku and you won’t believe what they say!

Trending Facebook News!
Famous couple gets divorced
Oh— and Greenland sank

___________________________

Jen’s diet secret!
She only eats on Tuesday
You heard it here first

___________________________

My note to the Mom
Who judged my cart at Target
Back the **** off, bitch

___________________________

Disney Princesses
Drawn as feminist icons
Click. Damn. Page Not Found

___________________________

Hamster burritos
Versus peekaboo kittens
YouTube cute smackdown

___________________________

Kim Kardashian’s
Booty as a snowblower
*That* was worth my time

___________________________

Don’t eat these five foods
One – Anything that tastes good
Two through five – Ditto

___________________________

A dude trained his cat
To clean its own litterbox
Could you help my son?

___________________________

Instagram picture
Taken while their food turned cold
So they sent it back

___________________________

On Buzzfeed I learned
Cool new ways to cut up fruit
That I never eat

___________________________

These thirty photos
Prove beyond a single doubt
I’m avoiding work

___________________________

Back to work again
But first I’ll take a sec to
Check out Ruelala