Regret

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One night I bottled up the moon and trapped her light in stoppered glass

Her milky glow lit up my room; I longed to have it for my own

“Just a taste” I said, yet knew with one I wouldn’t be content

I danced between each dreaming sip ’til every pearly drop was spent

I shivered cold beneath the night, and rued the day I drank her light

 

So every night before I slept, I sang before my windowsill

Apologies upon my lips in hopes that I could bring her home

I filled the bottle with my tears while wishing they would set her free

To spill her light across the sky, the opal in the violet sea

And promised I would never pine again for what should not be mine

 

Once I had cried the bottle full, how many nights I don’t recall

I woke to catch a glimmer slight, a flicker through the pearly glass

And ran to see she’d split the night, renewed in slivered silver grace

Each day she grew ’til fully bloomed, a smile bright upon her face

Forgiveness I had hoped to earn, bestowed on me when she returned

 

Though I have kept my vow in full, from time to time she leaves my view

Drunk by another greedy fool who thinks he can possess her glow

But no one can decanter long the moon without becoming night

Til sorrow bids us let her go so all can dance beneath her light

And cast off the regrets we keep,  and drift to unencumbered sleep

Momaiku – The freshman drop off edition


How can this much stuff

All fit inside the Prius?

“Don’t open the doors”

_______________________

Sure you’ve got it all?

“What could I be missing, Mom?”

I’m sure we’ll find out

___________________________

“When you clean my room

Please don’t look under the bed.”

Wouldn’t dream of it

________________________

And the trunk closes

I can’t believe we did it

“Where am I sitting?”

_______________________

“When will we get there?”

At best, a 12 hour drive

“Just wake me for lunch.”

________________________

So here is your dorm

“It looked better in pictures.”

Most things in life do

_________________________

Don’t be afraid Dude

The RA will not tase you

Unless you earned it

__________________________

“You can hug me Mom.

I’m sure nobody’s watching.

It won’t hurt my cred.”

________________________

I don’t shed a tear

Until we’re all the way out

Of our parking space

________________________

“There are no parties.

This school sucks. I’m transferring.”

It’s been five hours

_________________________

Was today better?

“Yeah! I met a guy who knows a guy.”

LALA  can’t hear you

________________________

“I’m doing laundry!”

Separate your lights and darks.

“Yeah, whatever, Mom.”

________________________

“My tee shirts are pink!”

Washed your red sweatshirt, did you?

“How did you know that?”

__________________________

“The Wifi here sucks.”

Use the ethernet cable

“The whada whada?”

__________________________

“Forgot nail clippers

Can you Amazon Prime some?”

Can you CVS?

—————————————-

“My dorm room’s spotless.”

I’m sure your roommate thanks you

(I give it three weeks)

__________________________

I text, I love you

He texts “Please send me food.”

It means the same thing

_________________________

“Classes start Monday

I hope they don’t cramp my style.”

If they don’t, I will

______________________

“How do you and Dad

Manage without me around.”

We have lots of sex

________________________

“Very funny Mom.”

We cry from morning ’til night

(We have lots of sex)

_______________________

So that’s all I’ve got

Until I get the next text

Two, three hours, tops

It’s our fault. We taught them to share.

Eleven days left

Until I claim his bedroom

Paint the mother pink

_____________________

Not that I’m eager

Go ahead–count those chickens

What could happen now?

______________________

Damn, I had to ask

Mono outbreak in his squad

Grad party whiplash

______________________

Tracing through the snarl

Of who has hooked up with who

Dating duck, duck, goose

______________________

Rumors burn the wires

His prom date is patient zero

Glad he’s got no game

______________________

So the lesson, Dude?

Keep your tongue in your own mouth

Until you’re thirty

______________________

Can’t breathe easy yet

He and his sick best friend have

Shared “water bottles”

_______________________

Calculate backwash

From a “water” pong tourney

Twenty kids, two cups

______________________

Google Hail Mary

Can Fireball kill off germs?

It tastes like it can

______________________

The answer is no

But it makes good antifreeze

It tastes like that, too

_______________________

You haven’t had it?

Think of a bowl of Red Hots

Steeped in Jack Daniels

_______________________

“The symptoms?” he asked

I said, “You get real tired–

I’ve had it for years.”

_______________________

“I have to be fine

Welcome week is important!”

(It has the parties)

______________________

Sleeping in all day…

When teenagers have mono

Can you really tell?

______________________

So far he’s okay

Luckily the health center

Is next to his dorm

Haiku Resolutions

In 2015
No more procrastination
Starting on Monday

I hereby resolve
To spend less time on Facebook
Than my teenage son

I’ll be more patient
Before I tell you you’re wrong
I will count to three

And from here on out
I will not drink my red wine
Straight from the bottle

I solemnly swear
I’m done binge watching Scandal
The third season sucked

Before I shower
I vow to take a brisk walk
To the coffee pot

I found my hand weights
I will put them to good use
As my new doorstop

My New Year’s diet?
I will not eat any carbs
Before 6 a.m.

I’ll no longer curse
Or keep my voice soft enough
So my son won’t hear

No need to worry
I won’t write stuff about you
Unless I’m pissed off

But I’ll keep writing
If I can make someone laugh
Even if it’s me

Holiday Haiku from the cats

Human–thank me nowIMG_0292

I’ve killed the evil red ball

One less ornament


Holiday ribbon

Makes for a festive hairball

On your yoga mat


Humans don’t get it

You can keep the **** inside

Just leave me the box


The lights on the tree

Aren’t blinking in unison

I will remove them


Go on–laugh it up

While my food bowl goes empty

Kiss dessert goodbye


The coats on the bed

Are the perfect place to sleep

Screw their allergies


Sorry mantel crecheIMG_0666

But I have dibs on this space

Kick it to the curb


I don’t care, grandpa

The dog stays at home capiche?

Or I shred your pants


Dearest Santa Claus

The human lies–I’ve been good

Just send some catnip


Like the humans say

Climb high, and I’ll reach the stars

Up the tree I go


Cocktail party – yay!

I will sit amongst them all

And lick my privates


Opening presents!

How should I know if they’re mine?

Cat’s can’t read, Einstein


I will shed my fur

On your new cashmere sweater

Until you pet me


If that’s what it takes

I’ll wish you Merry Christmas

Now go fill my bowl.

Happy Holidays from Hunter, Sasha, and the Mobyjoe Cafe

Note to Self

A yellow tag on my mirrorIMG_0476

      Pick up the dry cleaning

      Floss

      Stand up straight

       Call your mother

A paper scrap by the coffee machine

        Pay the phone bill

        Mind your p’s and q’s

        Don’t worry so much

        Buy more coffee

On the refrigerator, stuck under a magnet

          Don’t eat that

          Eat this instead

          Eat what you want

          Drink more water

An email on my computer

            Get off Email

            Close down Facebook

            Write

            Okay, maybe five minutes of Facebook

Scribbled on the palm of my hand

              Sing loud

             Laugh louder

             Love more

             Forgive, forget

             Remember the rest

             I left you a note