The Democratic Debate in Haiku

Anderson Cooper

Is in a serious mood

His glasses say so


The jumbotron set

Makes it look like a game show

Miss the big ass plane


Does CNN see

Their facebook logo placement?

Someone ****ed it up


Cheryl Crow can sing

She even hit the high notes

(The tight pants might help)


I know it’s sexist

But I wore Hillary’s suit

When I was pregnant


I love you Bernie

But who pees in your cornflakes

Every damn morning?


Who is this Jim Webb

He was once my senator?

Uhm. Yes. I knew that.


Martin O’Malley

Says that he fixed Baltimore

What about those O’s?


Hey Lincoln Chafee

Nineteen seventy nine called

Want their yardsticks back


Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah Working people

Democrat Intro


Bernie Sanders says

Congress speaks like Eskimos

Thousand words for “no”


Wedded to the polls?

Hillary asks for numbers

“I’ll get back to you”


Martin endorsed Hill

‘I’m allowed to change my mind

Just like you change yours’


Our first Trump mention

“I may be a barker but

I own the circus”


Chafee asks for slack

We don’t care that your Dad died

If it was your dog…..


I don’t care about

Hillary’s emails either

Let’s all unsubscribe


And I still don’t know

Anything about Jim Web

But he can tell time


Hillary is asked

How she’ll differ from Barack

“Pee breaks take more time.”


This is so civil

There’s nothing to make fun of

I need more cowbell


If O’Malley wins

I really hope he invades

New York’s Trump Tower


What is Communist

Versus Social Democrat?

Putin bores Bernie


Jim Webb gets to speak

And what does he choose to say?

Yup. I killed a dude.


Damn, I’ll never know

Which chick they’d put on the ten

Who will I vote for?


And Twitter weighs in

Martin won’t be president

But the man’s a DILF


Huckabee live tweets

And I trust him like I trust

His foot near his mouth


That’s all I got folks

Until we get the next round

On the 28th


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