The Mobyjoe Cafe Weekly News Roundup – Week of 3/15

Ab-tastic Rep is forced to quit
Because he overspent a bit
His office looks like Downton Abby
While the voters paid his tabby
But he’ll always find employ
As Men’s Health’s favorite cover boy


Starbucks tackles race relations
By prompting in-line conversations
Sorry if I sound real mean,
But I don’t chat before caffeine


A rider to a slavery bill
Wreaks havoc up on Capitol Hill
For every woman should be free
Unless you’re talking pregnancy
Sure, Human trafficking’s an abomination
Still, let’s stall Lynch’s nomination
No bill should languish, doomed to molder
And neither should poor Eric Holder


A runner at a New York meet
Swept a bystander off her feet
Unfortunately, the gesture was less than loving
Think–more like a high-speed shoving
Neither party was injured
And “wham-sauced” is now my favorite word

Wall Street bites its nails and waits
While the Fed reviews the interest rate
But they aren’t the only nervous fretters
It’s time for college admission letters
Both Moms and bankers look for signs
And try to read between the lines
While figuring out how much to hoard
To pay for things they can’t afford


Netanyahu’s re-elected
Not the outcome pols expected
Yet the news creates less racket
Than Obama’s b-ball bracket
But neither headline hopes to top
Bruce Jenner’s coming gender swap


Robin Thicke’s back on the market
His ex-wife told him where to park it
Although he wooed her, undeterred
I guess some lines aren’t all that blurred


Ashley Judd is fighting back
‘Gainst Twitter trolls bent on attack
She called out b-ball “dirty play”
And that is where she went astray
For trash talk is a dude’s domain
Male twitterverse has made it plain
She deserved the hate-sex drumming
Because, you know, she had it coming
(Threats are a first amendment exception
So let’s clear up that misconception)
The law may give you all a pass,
But if I was your mother, I’d ground your ass


Sports reporters can’t be trusted
My NCAA bracket is already busted
Since it’s freed a ton of time up
I’m starting my fantasy baseball lineup


Just remember….
Just when the world is looking bleak
We get to start a brand new week
The news is ours to create
So go out there and make it great

4 comments on “The Mobyjoe Cafe Weekly News Roundup – Week of 3/15

  1. Zan Marie says:

    Oh my goodness! You’re on fire today!

  2. Your recent rounds of rhyming reviews have left me rolling … 🙂

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