Holiday Haiku from the cats

Human–thank me nowIMG_0292

I’ve killed the evil red ball

One less ornament


Holiday ribbon

Makes for a festive hairball

On your yoga mat


Humans don’t get it

You can keep the **** inside

Just leave me the box


The lights on the tree

Aren’t blinking in unison

I will remove them


Go on–laugh it up

While my food bowl goes empty

Kiss dessert goodbye


The coats on the bed

Are the perfect place to sleep

Screw their allergies


Sorry mantel crecheIMG_0666

But I have dibs on this space

Kick it to the curb


I don’t care, grandpa

The dog stays at home capiche?

Or I shred your pants


Dearest Santa Claus

The human lies–I’ve been good

Just send some catnip


Like the humans say

Climb high, and I’ll reach the stars

Up the tree I go


Cocktail party – yay!

I will sit amongst them all

And lick my privates


Opening presents!

How should I know if they’re mine?

Cat’s can’t read, Einstein


I will shed my fur

On your new cashmere sweater

Until you pet me


If that’s what it takes

I’ll wish you Merry Christmas

Now go fill my bowl.

Happy Holidays from Hunter, Sasha, and the Mobyjoe Cafe

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4 comments on “Holiday Haiku from the cats

  1. rsvendsen07 says:

    This is awesome. I love these. đŸ˜„

  2. It’s like you’re inside their heads! Kitty Hive Mind? Merry Christmas.

  3. Awwww merry christmas!

  4. hiyacynthia says:

    Those are cute, Jeannine. Happy holidays!

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