Introducing the Writbit

fitbitMy Fitbit has me rather obsessed. I ran up and down the stairs a few times last night before bed, just to meet my quota. It didn’t matter that the goal was arbitrarily set by the Fitbit powers that be, I was determined to get those 10 flights in if it killed me. My husband was amused. My son was vexing me by standing in my path. He may be taller than me, but he’s skinny. I had 2 flights to go. He was going down.

Noting my renewed commitment to fitness, my husband, the computer genius, created the Writbit, for competitive writers. It’s like NaNoWriMo in your pocket.

You’ve written 3183 words today!

Go me. I totally rock.

Unfortunately 1962 were sort of crappy, and you wrote another 186 in passive voice

That leaves me what, a little over 900?

The length of the “Who is John Galt” speech!

Are you sure you’re counting right? That section of Atlas Shrugged feels much longer than that to me. Anyhow, don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh? 1962 words couldn’t have been crappy, some of them must have been at least average.

We have a well-vetted algorithm based on your previous work.

Thanks. I feel so much better now.

Am I really supposed to count “I don’t know what to write, but if I stop typing my son will think I’m not working and start to talk about fantasy football.” Really? I’m supposed to count that? And just so you know, that sarcastic tone might scare off mere mortals, but Writbits have no feelings.

So I’ve noticed.

On a more positive note, you’ve edited 8263 words today, not including correcting typos.

Apparently I have another 1962 I can start working on.

A writer’s work is never done. You used 1427 adverbs, by the way. You can pave the road to hell and back again with stats like that.

Thank you, Steven King.

You’re welcome!

Hey, Fitbit here. If you’re done with the chit chat, you might want to go climb some stairs. You have another 7 flights to go. I’m still here, you know. The kid’s at school, nothing standing in your way. Apparently you’re only writing crap anyhow, so you might as well get some exercise.

Words by J. B. Everett

Photograph by Pete Markham © 2012 Creative Commons

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5 comments on “Introducing the Writbit

  1. Love it! Thanks for the morning smile! Meanwhile, I have my own Writbit screaming at me. “Hey! Didn’t you promise to write your daily quota for your novel before you started reading blog posts?”

    Shut up!

  2. Muddy Kinzer says:

    Hilarious! Thanks for starting my day off on the right foot! : )

  3. Khara House says:

    I want a Writbit! Although, I think I would “accidentally break” mine if it started talking to me like that 🙂

  4. hiyacynthia says:

    LOL! I want both of them. My Writbit would just keep saying, “Go write more, dummy.”

  5. denise616 says:

    Haha! Hilarious post.

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