Living in the theoretical world

Between the hurricane-related school closures and teacher workdays, my son has been home a lot lately.  It could be nice to have him around–theoretically. We could hang out together, he could join me on my afternoon run, or we could go to museums in D.C.

Actually, he does stuff with his friends and tells me when he needs a ride.

Theoretically, I don’t mind driving him places. He has friends and activities and I’m glad he enjoys them. If he would like to be at the basketball court at 4:00, and he asks for me to take him  I’m more than happy to adjust my schedule to do so.

Actually, he tells me at 2:00 that I have to take him and a friend at 2:15, which actually doesn’t work for me, so I move some things around. At 2:15 his friends aren’t quite ready, so it will be more like 2:45, so he paces around my office talking about sports while I’m not writing, and at 2:40, he gets a text that says someone else’s mother  is driving them there, but he’ll text me when he needs to be picked up.

Theoretically, he’d get some reading and homework done, shoot some hoops,  or finish that model that’s been lingering in the basement since last Christmas.

Actually, he’s in the basement yelling at Call of Duty hackers and lag-switchers, or throwing a ball against the wall to practice fielding. He can throw a ball against the wall for a surprisingly long time. The wall is under my office. I need a Motrin.

I hated Economics in college. I didn’t understand the value of hypothesizing about theoretical markets that behaved in predictable ways. When was the last time you met anyone rational, especially where spending money is concerned.  The world is not a theoretical place.

But then again, theoretically, I could have the perfect Stepford son. Actually, my son is pretty cool just the way he is. As long as I can get some writing done. I should be able to, since he goes back to school today. Theoretically.  Actually, he needs a ride. Better go get the keys.

Words by J. B. Everett

Photograph by Steve Cadman © 2006 Creative Commons

7 comments on “Living in the theoretical world

  1. Veronica Roth says:

    That’s my life right there. I told Chloe that I’d pick her up from her evening courses so she doesn’t have to bus home after 9pm and somehow that’s morphed into her not using the mandatory bus pass at all. Wish there was some sort of trade-in-the-bus-pass-for-gas-money university initiative.

    • Monday I told him I couldn’t drive him to his friend’s because I would be at rehearsal when he wanted to go. I got the exasperation exhale. I have had rehearsal every Monday night for five years. Why this came as a surprise is beyond me.

      • Veronica Roth says:

        Friday I got that exhale because I made an impromptu afternoon tea date with a friend. I really shouldn’t be making plans when I should be driving. 🙂
        PS: If we ever get let our kids meet they’d run the length of the country robbing banks!

      • Oh Lordy, I can see it now.

        C: So J, when are you going to be ready to go?
        J: (not looking up from the x-box controller) In a few minutes
        C: You said that a few minutes ago. The bank is about to close.
        J: I can’t leave in the middle of a campaign. Go without me. Pause. And while you’re out, can you bring back some cookies?

      • Veronica Roth says:


  2. This made me laugh! We have the throwing the ball against the wall problem too. Care to share your Motrin? : )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s