My son informed me the other night that apparently, I am gay. His friends decided upon my sexual orientation at the lunch table. My husband will be so bummed when he finds out. Their evidence? I drive a Prius.
I didn’t so much get a Prius, as I got rid of my minivan. It was like driving an empty bus which required constant filling and I really dislike filling the car. I don’t know why. It’s like ordering food over the phone. I can do it, but I prefer not to. If I could fill my car via Amazon prime, I would. Having a Prius merely extends the time frame between fill ups, increasing the likelihood that my husband will use my car, recognize it needs gas, and do it for me.
So what about the Prius makes me gay? Apparently, Prius=Liberal=Gay. My son’s friends didn’t need to invoke the power of the car–I freely admit to being a liberal. A lazy liberal who doesn’t like to pump gas, but that’s besides the point.
I know kids throw the word “gay” around with the justification that they don’t mean it “that way”, but that’s just a cop-out. We all know an intended pejorative when we hear one. Although frankly, I don’t have a problem with being labeled gay. It’s not the first time people have made that assumption. A liberal feminist writer with short hair, androgynous features and too many opinions might as well carry a rainbow flag. For the record, I’m not gay, but my life has been blessed with a lot of gay friends. Here is what I’ve learned about the gay community from them.
1) Gay parents love their kids just like every other parent.
2) Gay parents find their children exasperating sometimes, just like every other parent.
3) Gay couples complain about their spouses just like straight couples do.
4) Gay families buy groceries, drive carpools and get crabgrass in their lawn, just like everyone else does.
5) Gay parents find it awkward when the teacher makes them sit in those puny little chairs for parent teacher conferences, just like every other parent.
6) Gay men really do throw better parties than the rest of us.
Families are families.
I know we don’t all agree on this. I’m just sharing how I feel about it. I get to have my opinion, and you get to have yours. That’s how democracy works. Even my son’s friends get to have their opinion, but while their behinds are sitting in my backseat, they can keep it to themselves.
Words by J. B. Everett